* * *

If the ocean was beer and I was a duck,

I’d dive to the bottom and never come up.

* * *

Negro Woman to Drug Clerk: “Misto drug clerk, do you all exchange things here?”

Drug Clerk: “Why, yes madam, we do.”

Negro Woman: “Well I was jist wonderin’ if yo’ would take back this here good fer nuffin rubber thing an’ give me a bottle of Mellen’s food instead.”

* * *

A girl’s heart is like her vanity bag—overflowing with tender little souvenirs of love; a man’s is like his pipe—carefully emptied after each “flame” has gone out.