Dear Whiz Bang—My husband, a returned soldier, did not get home until 3 o’clock this morning. He said he was at the Fort all night playing golf. Do soldiers play golf in the middle of the night?—Worried War Bride.
Yes, Worried Wifie, they do. One of the favorite sports of the naughty doughboy is the game known as African golf. Two galloping dominoes are used in place of a small ball. Instead of the greens, the latrine floor is usually garnished with greenbacks and set off in silver. “Big Dick” and “Little Joe” act as caddies and there is more cussing at a “flock of box cars” than a minister foozling a putt. I indulged in a friendly game of dancing dominoes last night with my old buddy, Mr. “Eighter from Decatur.” “Jimmy Hicks” and “Long Legged Liz” were there, but before I got through I had “fever in the South” and “crapped” out several points under par.
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Dear Captain Bill—Please tell me what is golf?—Ignoramus.
Well, Ig., golf is a game where old men chase little balls around when they are too old to chase anything else.
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Dearest Billy—What’s the difference between a bachelor and a worm?—Andy Gump.
Somebody told me there was no difference—the chickens get them both.
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