Mrs. Smith to Mrs. Johnson: “Ain’t it funny what some folks will do to get their name in the paper? Now there’s the Olson family. I see by the Tribune this mornin’ where they’ve got a new baby at their home.”

* * *

Hail, hail, the gang’s all here;

Some liar said I had real beer.

* * *

A wife may be a necessity—another man’s wife is certainly a luxury.

* * *

Virtue is its own reward—and too often its only reward.

* * *