I said: Good man, can you help me,
I’m a millionaire dead broke;
But the poor old man was deaf and dumb,
I could tell by the way he spoke.
* * *
Officer—“Why didn’t you salute? Don’t you know I’m a captain?”
Buck Private—“That’s a darn good job. Hang on to it.”
* * *
“Late house tonight, my love,” she’ll say,