Dear Skipper—I’m in love with a fat girl and she insists on sitting on my lap. Advice, please.—Kennett B. Goode.

Suggest that you place an ironing board over the arms of a chair. You could then hold her on your lap indefinitely and not get tired.

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Dear Skipper Bill—Can you give me the name of a rare and almost extinct bird?—School Johnnie.

Old Crow.

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Dear Skipper Billy—Give me a definition of falling in love which “in the spring turns a young man’s fancy,” etc.—Bob Wire.

Love is a feeling that you feel when you feel you’re going to feel a feeling that you’ve never felt before.

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