If at first some men don’t succeed they fail, and fail again.
* * *
A fat man has another advantage over his thin brethren—he knows exactly where his cigar ashes are going to land.
* * *
Moonology
The wife of a man named Moon presented him with a fine boy. This was a new moon. The father celebrated the event by drinking himself full of hootch. This was a full moon. When he awoke from his stupor all he had left in his pocket was twenty-five cents. This was the last quarter. His mother-in-law took this and rapped him over the head with a club. This was the total eclipse.
* * *
Impossible
It can’t be done.