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Dear Captain Billy—What were the two most popular ballads of the American doughboy in France?—Mona Long.
Before the armistice it was “I Want to Go Home.” Afterwards it was “If You Want to Go Home, Just Let Them Alone.”
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Dear Captain Billy—My father is a motor-man, and my mother is a conductorette. What am I?—Enter Tainem.
A transfer.
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Dear Cap’n—What is a Pomeranian Whiff Sniff?—Willack Fulish.
A Pomeranian Whiff Sniff is a species of small wooly dog with the curious habit of trying to climb telegraph poles, hind feet first.