And “Gus” was asleep at the Fau’cet.

* * *

Our idea of the height of vanity is to stand in front of a looking glass when you’re asleep.

* * *

Pathetic, Ye Gods, Too Pathetic

An Irishman and a Scotchman were standing at a bar—and the Irishman had no money.

* * *

Glorious Daze

Two drunks on a train.

No. 1—“Whas sha time?”