Dear Admiral—What is the easiest way to catch a whiffempoof?—A. Fisher.

Throw a plug of tobacco in the water and hit him on the head with a club when he comes up to spit.

* * *

Dear Captain Bill—Why is it that flies can’t see in the winter time?—I. C. Fairlywell.

I suppose it is because they leave their specs behind in the summer time.

* * *

Dear Skipper—Can you dig me up a girl if I come to Robbinsdale to visit you?—Geehell.

Sure, but what’s the matter with me getting you a live one?

* * *