* * *
Mother (to battered son)—George, how many times have I told you to stop and count to a hundred before fighting?
George—That’s what I did, Ma, but the other kid’s mother told him to count only ten.
* * *
Quick, Officer, He’s Bleedin’!
Why is a woman like an umbrella?
Because she is made of ribs and attached to a stick.
No, have another guess.
Because nobody ever gets the right one.