The oil field filosopher reports the following:
My father got rich selling tickets at the moving picture show. When a man came up to buy a ticket he would throw down a two dollar bill or a five. Father would blow his breath in his face and say, “How many?” The man would say, “Oh, never mind, keep the change.”
* * *
Just because you’re a ham, you needn’t think you’re Swift. That’s all the jokes I know, but there Armour.
* * *
Wet Times Ahead
Steamer Captain—Save yourself! The vessel is going down. Here, sir (to indifferent passenger), what are you passing that hat for in a situation like this?
Passenger—I’m just providing a sinking fund for our widows and orphans, captain.
* * *