“I’ve got the fastest typist in the city.”

“Well, that’s the only complaint I have against mine.”

* * *

Some marriages make one wonder why a man should want to keep a cow when free milk is running down the gutter. A ladle costs less than a cradle.

* * *

The Tramp’s Plea

“Good mornin’ this evenin’, how do you do tomorrow?”

“Got any good drinking water?”

“Would you mind giving a poor man a drink of liquor?”