Most of the women who cry at weddings have been married themselves.

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Our Carpenter Hero

He “hammered” on the door; was answered by a girl who wore a white “sash,” and asked if he could get a “square” meal. He “saw” that the place was “plane” but clean, and “planking” himself down to the table, he “braced” his legs beneath the chair, and “bit” into a Parker “House” roll. His “nails” were rather dirty, but he met the “stairs” of those about him with a “level” glance. After “bolting” his food, he “shingled” off a dollar bill, paid the girl, opining that it was a good place to “board.”

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The tenants who formerly lived on the floor above said that our baby balled them out.

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Hi Say, Chappie

Maybelle (coquettishly)—You tickle me, Duke.

The Duke—My word, what a strange request!