Dear Skipper—What’s your idea of a non-essential industry?—May Hogany.
A corkscrew factory.
* * *
Dear Snappy Skipper—How many miles do you get from a gallon of hooch?—U. Kisser.
It depends on the thinness of the mixture before it goes through my carburetor.
* * *
Dear Captain Billy—I’m in love with a Spanish Beauty, but she’s jealous of me. How can I cure her?—Will B. Schott.
No, Will, I can’t tell you how to cure her. Better stay away from her or you might wake up some morning with a stick in your gizzard.
* * *
Dear Captainovich—Vot’s a gude name for a Yiddish baby born in an Irisher neighborhood?—Tuda Banke.