Isaac Murphy would be safest.
* * *
Dear Captain Bill—What is good to take grass stains out of a white dress?—Helen Earth.
Damfino—Wear a green dress hereafter.
* * *
Dear Whiz Bang Bill—Why do people insist on telling liquor jokes?—’Gus Ted.
Probably because they’re the only kind that have spirit in them.
* * *
Dear Farmer Billy—Would you please give me a suggestion for an evening dress? I am about to make my debut in society.—Arrah Bella.