Wind two yards of ribbon around the waist and tie in a huge bow.
* * *
Dear Captain Bill—You say, in your March issue, that Eve was entered in the human race. I wish she’d never been entered in any race. Then I wouldn’t have to put up with henpeckery now. What in the deuce was she put on earth for, anyway?—Tis Tuff.
Eve was made, my friend, for Adam’s express company.
* * *
Dear Skipper—Please give me a definition of joy.—Minnie Mumm.
Joy is the peculiar feeling experienced by a man after a drunk when he counts his money and discovers that he has all the cash he thought he had and a few dollars more.
* * *
Dear Captain Bill—Why is a landlord like a poker player?—Tom Nolan.
Because he always raises when he gets a full house.