There is no cooler man than your simple fellow. While General Thomas was inspecting the fortifications of Chattanooga with General Garfield, they heard some one shout: 'Hello, mister! You! I want to speak to you!' General Thomas, turning, found he was the 'mister' so politely hailed by an East Tennessean soldier.
'Well, my man,' said he, 'what do you want with me?'
'I want to get a furlough, mister, that's what I want,' was the reply.
'Why do you want a furlough, my man?' inquired the general.
'Wall, I want to go home and see my wife.'
'How long is it since you saw her?'
'Ever since I enlisted; nigh on to three months.'
'Three months!' exclaimed the commander. 'Why, my good fellow, I have not seen my wife for three years!'
The Tennessean looked incredulous, and drawled out: 'Wall, you see, me and my wife ain't that sort!'
The Postmaster-general of the United States once received an odd official communication; the Raeborn postmaster, new to his duties, writing to his superior officer: 'Seeing by the regulations that I am required to send you a letter of advice, I must plead in excuse that I have been postmaster but a short time; but I will say, if your office pays no better than mine, I advise you to give it up.' To this day, that Postmaster-general has not decided whether his subordinate was an ignoramus or was quietly poking fun at him.