Spite of the old axiom about self-praise, many are of opinion that the world is apt to take a man at his own valuation. If that be true, there is a church dignitary in embryo somewhere in the young deacon, whose examining bishop felt it requisite to send for the clergyman recommending him for ordination, in order to tell him to keep that young man in check; adding by way of explanation: 'I had the greatest difficulty, sir, to prevent him examining me!' This not to be abashed candidate for clerical honours promises to be as worthy of the cloth as the American minister who treated his village congregation to one of Mr Beecher's sermons, unaware that the popular Brooklyn preacher made one of his hearers. Accosting him after service, Mr Beecher said: 'That was a fair discourse; how long did it take you to write it?'
'Oh, I tossed it off one evening,' was the reply.
'Indeed!' said Mr Beecher. 'Well, it took me much longer than that to think out the framework of that sermon.'
'Are you Henry Ward Beecher?' asked the sermon-stealer.
'I am,' said that gentleman.
'Well, then,' said the other, not in the least disconcerted, 'all I have to say is, that I ain't ashamed to preach one of your sermons anywhere.'
We do not know if Colman invented the phrase, 'As cool as a cucumber;' but he makes the Irishman in The Heir-at-Law say: 'These two must be a rich man that won't lend, and a borrower; for one is trotting about in great distress, and t' other stands cool as a cucumber.' Of the two, the latter was more likely to have been intending a raid on another man's purse, for the men whose 'very trade is borrowing' are usually, we might say necessarily, the coolest of the cool; like Bubb Dodington's impecunious acquaintance, who, rushing across Bond Street, greeted Dodington with: 'I'm delighted to see you, for I am wonderfully in want of a guinea.'
Taking out his purse, Bubb shewed that it held but half a guinea.
'A thousand thanks!' cried his tormentor, deftly seizing the coin; 'that will do very well for the present;' and then changed the conversation. But as he turned to take leave, he inquired: 'By-the-by, when will you pay me that half-guinea?'
'Pay you? What do you mean?' exclaimed Dodington.