SIR RICHARD JEBB.
This eminent physician was a man of impatient, irritable temper, and, when bored with the querulous complaints of some of his patients, could hardly ever force himself to return a civil answer. Sometimes his irritability led him to explode in a furious anathema, mingled with horrible oaths; sometimes he assumed a tone of quiet but severe sarcasm. A troublesome patient, who only fancied himself ill, pestered him one day with inquiries as to what he should eat. “My directions on that point,” said Sir Richard, “will be few and simple: You must not eat the shovel, poker, or tongs, for they are hard of digestion; nor the bellows, for they are windy; but any thing else you please!”
BEST UPPER LEATHER.
The following sound advice occurs in an almanack:—“If you wish to have a shoe of durable materials, you should make the upper leather of the mouth of a hard drinker; for that never lets in water.”
DÆDALUS.
A fellow once brought a vast number of people together in London by giving out that, on a certain day, he would fly over Westminster Hall, in the manner of Icarus. One of the crowd, waiting for this sight on Westminster Bridge, inquired of a neighbour, “Pray, who was Icarus?” to which the reply was, “The son of Diddle-us, I believe.”
DR. RADCLIFFE.
Dr. Radcliffe was avaricious, and would never pay his bills without much importunity. A pavior, after many fruitless attempts, caught him as he was going out in his chariot. “Why, you rascal,” said the doctor, “do you pretend to be paid for such a piece of work? Why, you have spoiled my pavement, and then covered it over with earth to hide your bad work.” “Doctor,” said the pavior, “mine is not the only bad work the earth hides.” “You dog, you,” said the doctor, “are you a wit? You must be poor; come in and be paid.”
LORD SANDWICH.
Lord Sandwich, a member of that administration which carried on the American war, though a dignified looking nobleman in dress, was so ungainly a walker on the street, that, on a gentleman of his acquaintance expressing a doubt whether an individual at a distance was his lordship or not, another is said to have remarked, “Oh, yes, I am sure it is Lord Sandwich, for, if you observe, he is walking down both sides of the street at once.” His lordship used to relate of himself that, having once taken lessons in dancing at Paris, he asked the professor at the conclusion, if he could do him any favour in his own country; to which the man replied, bowing, “I should take it as a particular favour if your lordship would never tell any one of whom you learned to dance.”