OLD BAILEY WIT.
A man was tried for stealing a pair of boots from a shop-door in Holborn, with which he ran away. Judge, to shoemaker, who had pursued and seized the prisoner—“What did he say when you caught him?” Witness—“My lord, he said he took the boots in a joke.” Judge—“And pray, how far was he off when you caught him?” Witness—“About forty yards, please your lordship.” Judge—“I am afraid this is carrying the joke too far;” and he condemned the prisoner.
WATERLOO MEDAL.
A Frenchman sneered at a British soldier for wearing a Waterloo medal, a thing which did not cost the English government three francs. “It may have cost the English government only three francs,” said the soldier; “but it cost the French a Napoleon besides.”
BOLD REPLY.
James the Second, who so seldom said a good thing, one day said a very ill-bred one. He declared, in the midst of his courtiers, that “he had never known a modest man make his way at court.” To this observation one of the gentlemen present boldly replied, “And, please your majesty, whose fault is that?” The king was struck, and remained silent.
A GOOD SORT OF MAN.
“Pray,” said a lady to Foote, “what sort of man is Sir John D.?” “Oh! a very good sort of man.” “But what do you call a good sort of man?” “Why, madam, one who preserves all the exterior decencies of ignorance.”
TIME AT ROYAL DISCRETION.