GIBBON’S PUNCTUALITY.
Gibbon the historian was very punctual in his habits, dividing his time after the manner of King Alfred, and never prolonging a particular employment a moment beyond the stated hour of its termination. He once discharged a hairdresser for coming five minutes too late. The next he sent for, to make sure, came five minutes too soon. That was as bad; he was discharged too. A third, by pitching his arrival exactly as the clock struck, was retained.
NE SUTOR.
A sculptor hearing a cobbler find fault with the sandal on the foot of one of his statues, thought the man’s objections so reasonable that he altered it, and returned him his thanks. The cobbler, arrogating consequence to himself, began to disapprove of the formation of the knee. “Hold, my friend,” cried the artist, “a cobbler’s criticisms should never go above the sole.”
GEORGE III. AND THE WHIGS.
When the Whigs came into power in 1806, they turned out everybody, even Lord Sandwich, the master of the stag-hounds. The king met his lordship soon after. “How do you do?” cried his majesty. “So they have turned you off? it was not my fault, upon my honour, for it was as much as I could do to keep my own place.”
DEFINITIONS.
Horne Tooke, in his “Diversions of Purley,” introduces the derivation of King Pipin from the Greek noun osper, as thus,—osper, eper, oper; diaper; napkin, nipkin pipkin, pepin king—King Pipin! And, in another work, we find the etymology of pickled cucumber from King Jeremiah! exempli gratia—King Jeremiah, Jeremiah King; Jerry, king; jerkin, gerkin, pickled cucumber! Also, the name of Mr. Fox, as derived from a rainy day; as thus—Rainy day, rain a little, rain much, rain hard, reynard, fox!
SIGNS AND TOKENS.