THE WORLD AN OLD LADY.
Some philosophers were disputing very learnedly and dully on the antiquity of the world. A man of wit, tired of their long discussion, said, “Gentlemen, I believe the world acts like some old ladies, and does not choose to have her age discovered.”
GOOD CAUSES AND BAD.
A counsellor was one day asked by the judge, why he, as a man of talents and integrity, was always employed in knavish causes—“Why, I have been so much in the habit of losing good causes, that I think I had better undertake bad ones.”
A NATURAL MISTAKE.
A black servant being examined in the Church Catechism by the minister of the parish, was asked, “What are you made of?” Cato answered, “Of mud, massa.” On being told that he should say, “Of dust,” he replied, “No, massa, it no do—no stick togedder.”
ADVICE.
Some years ago, the son of an eminent Jew was on the point of being married to a Christian lady, on which the father, who had no objection to the religion of the lady, but to the smallness of her fortune, expostulated with his son, and told him he might have a lady with more money, and that if he married without his consent, he would cut him off with a shilling. The son replied, that whether he consented or not, he would have the object of his wishes; adding, that if he refused he would turn Christian, and then he should claim the benefit of an English law, and obtain half of what he possessed. At this answer, old Mordecai was greatly confounded, and resolved to apply to counsel, to know whether there was any such law. The counsellor replied, “that there certainly was, and that his son, upon turning Christian, would obtain half his fortune; but if you will make me a present of ten guineas,” added he, “I will put you in a way to disappoint him, and the graceless dog shall not be able to obtain a farthing.” At this news the Jew’s hopes revived; and pulling ten guineas out of his pocket he instantly clapped them into the lawyer’s hand, expressing his impatience to know how to proceed. “Why,” said the counsellor, “Mr. Mordecai, you have nothing to do but to turn Christian yourself.”
POWER OF NUMBERS.