SIGNS.
A noted wag remarked the absurdity of a tradesman putting his name plump in the middle of the words expressing his trade,—a practice very common in London. “For example,” said he, “how ridiculous it is to see General Henderson Fish-merchant, in Holborn; or Dealer in Mash Potatoes, in the Commercial Road.” “Dear me,” exclaimed a young lady present, “I am very fond of mash-potatoes; I should like to deal with that man.” “If you are so fond of them,” replied her informant, “probably you would like better to board with him.”
A LAWYER CANNOT BE TOO BAREFACED.
A barrister observed to a learned brother in court, that he thought his whiskers were very unprofessional. “You are right,” replied his friend; “a lawyer cannot be too barefaced.”
SHARP ENOUGH ALREADY.
A solicitor, who was remarkable for the length and sharpness of his nose, once told a lady, that if she did not immediately settle a matter in dispute, he would file a bill against her. “Indeed, sir,” said the lady, “there is no necessity for you to file your bill, for I am sure it is sharp enough already.”
NEW CONSTRUCTION OF “EQUAM MEMENTO.”
A gentleman told Lord North, that, from a variety of losses, he had found himself compelled to reduce his establishment. “And what,” said his lordship, “have you done with the fine mare you used to ride?” “I have sold her.” “Then you have not attended to Horace’s maxim,—
Equam memento rebus in arduis servare.”