VENETIAN BLINDS.
Three Venetians, whom Lord Byron brought with him into this country, were so dreadfully attacked by ophthalmia, as almost entirely to lose their eye-sight. “What can we do with these poor fellows?” said his lordship, when he heard of their misfortune. “Why,” said Dr. L., “at the worst, we can set each of them up as a Venetian Blind.”
TOO MANY DAMS.
A boat ascending the Ohio river was hailed by another boat, when the following dialogue ensued:— “What boat is that?” “The Cherrystone.” “Whence came you?” “From Redstone.” “Where are you bound to?” “Limestone.” “Who is your captain?” “Thomas Stone.” “What are you loaded with?” “Millstones and grindstones.” “You are a hard set to be sure; take care you don’t go to the bottom. Farewell.”
The above reminds us of another, and, perhaps, more original joke, of which we supply a new edition:—Two ships meeting, the following dialogue ensued:—“What ship is that?” “The Dam.” ”Whence came you?“ ”From Amsterdam.” “Where are you bound to?” “To Rotterdam.” “What is your captain’s name?” “Potsdam.” “What is your cargo?” “Damsons and Damask.” “How goes it with you?” “In the last gale much damage.” “What news?” “The dams of Holland overflowed.” “You are,” concluded the interrogating tar, “a d—-d set; so d——n your eyes, sheer off!”
RIGHT DIVINE.
Among the few highly favoured individuals who were included in the select evening parties of George the Fourth, while at the Pavilion, Brighton, was the facetious Rev. J. Wright. On one occasion, the king hinted to his brother, the Duke of York, some intention he had of doing a particular act, to which the duke dissented: his majesty referred to the D.D.; on which the reverend jocularly observed, “The King can do no wrong.” “Then,” said his majesty, “Fred, I shall pursue my object; for you hear I have Wright Divine on my side.”
AN OLD BEARD.
Eric Rosenkrantz, who visited England in the reign of Charles I., from a motive of curiosity, was, in 1652, sent hither on an extraordinary embassy from the court of Denmark. Cromwell, who considered Rosenkrantz as a young minister without experience, asked him, whether there were many such forward geniuses among the Danes, who were qualified to manage the arduous affairs of state before their beards were grown. Rosenkrantz, who had occasion for all his temper and discretion not to say too much or too little upon the attack, replied, with an admirable firmness, “Sir, my beard, though it be young, is, however, older than your republic.” The protector, from this smart reply, conceived a different opinion of him, and treated him with much higher regard.
LORD LOUGHBOROUGH.