MATCHES.
It was told Lord Chesterfield, that Mrs. M——, a termagant and scold, was married to a gamester; on which his lordship said, “that cards and brimestone made the best matches.”
LITTLE MONEY.
Mr. Money, a little dapper man, was dancing at the York Assembly with a tall lady of the name of Bond; on which Sterne said, “There was a great bond for a little money.”
FRIENDS AT COURT.
A gentleman, begging Villiers, the witty Duke of Buckingham, to employ his interest for him at court, added, that he had nobody to depend on but God and his grace. “Then,” said the duke, “your condition is desperate: you could not have named any two beings who have less interest at court.”
CONFESSION.
Some time after a late nobleman had abjured the Roman Catholic religion, he was sent ambassador to France, where he resided several years. Being one day at an entertainment, a noble duke, his near relation, rallying him on the score of religion, asked his lordship whether the ministers of state, or the ministers of the gospel, had the greatest share in his conversion. “Good God, my lord duke!” replied the witty peer, “how can you ask me such a question? Do you not know that when I quitted the Roman Catholic religion I left off confession?”
WIT OF A RESURRECTIONIST.
A large party of soldiers surprising two resurrection men in a churchyard, the officer, seizing one of them, asked him what he had to say for himself:—“Say, sir!” replied the surgeon’s provider, “why, that we came here to raise a corpse, and not a regiment.”