BREAKING UP OF A NURSERY.
The organ of early destructiveness sometimes exhibits itself in a droll way. The mother of a family was one day saying, that as soon as the youngest child was of such an age, she should break up the nursery. “La, mamma!” said one of the children, “that will be fine sport—I’ll break up the chairs, and John shall break up the tables.”
BOW STREET BON-MOT.
A lady went into the Police Office, Bow Street, and inquired the price of some fur and silk articles. Townsend quizzingly replied, “Oh, ma’am, we’re all fair and above board—we’ve no cloaks here.” To which the lady rejoined, “Sir, I beg pardon; I really thought that this was the celebrated pelisse office.”
A YORKSHIRE EATING MATCH.
There was a famous eating match at a village in Yorkshire, between two men, named Gubbins and Muggins, which caused a great deal of interest in the neighbourhood; and a countryman, leaving the place before the match was decided, was stopped by almost every one on the road with “Who beats? how does the match get on?” &c.: to which he answered, “Why, I doant exactly know—they say Gubbins’ll get it; but I thinks Muggins’ll bet ’un yet, for when I leaft he was oanly two geese and a torkey behind him!”
ALL GONE OUT.
A gentleman having appointed to meet his friend on particular business, went to his house and knocked at the door, which was opened by a servant girl. He informed her he wanted her master. “He is gone out, sir,” said she. “Then your mistress will do,” said the gentleman. “She,” said the girl, “is gone out too.” “My business is of consequence,” returned he; “is your master’s son at home?” “No, sir,” replied the girl, “he is gone out.” “That’s unlucky indeed,” replied he; “but perhaps it may not be long before they return; I will step in and sit by your fire.” “Oh, sir,” said the girl, “the fire is gone out too.” Upon which the gentleman bade her inform her master, that he did not expect to be received so coolly.
MUSICAL TASTE.