FUNERAL SERVICE.
A ludicrous mistake happened at a funeral in Mary-le-bone. The clergyman had got on with the service, until he came to that part which says, “Our deceased brother, or sister,” without knowing whether the deceased was male or female. He turned to one of the mourners, and asked, whether it was a brother or sister? The man very innocently replied, “No relation at all, sir; only an acquaintance.”
PAINTER, POTS, AND ALL.
A painter was employed in painting a West India ship in the river, suspended on a stage under the ship’s stern. The captain, who had just got into the boat alongside, for the purpose of going ashore, ordered the boy to let go the painter (the rope which makes fast the boat). The boy instantly went aft, and let go the rope by which the painter’s stage was held. The captain, surprised at the boy’s delay, cried out, “D—n your eyes, you lazy dog, why don’t you let go the painter?” The boy replied, “He’s gone, sir, pots and all.”
JUDGE BURNET.
Judge Burnet, son of the famous Bishop of Salisbury, when young, is said to have been of a wild and dissipated turn. Being one day found by his father in a very serious humour, “What is the matter with you, Tom,” said the Bishop; “what are you ruminating on?” “A greater work than your lordship’s History of the Reformation,” answered the son. “Ay! what is that?” asked the father. “The reformation of myself, my lord,” replied the son.
UNIVERSITY PUN.
Dr. E——, recovered from some consumptive disorders, by the use of egg diet, soon after married. W——, the master of University College, Oxford, went to Dr. L——, then sick in bed, and resolved to discharge a pun which he had made. “Well, sir,” said he, “Dr. E—— has been egged on to matrimony.” “Has he so?” said L——; “why, then, I hope the yoke will sit easy.”