A clergyman preaching in the neighbourhood of Wapping, and observing that most of his audience were in the sea-faring way, very properly embellished his discourse with several nautical tropes and figures. Amongst other things, he advised them to be ever “on the watch, so that on whatever tack the devil should bear down upon them, he might be crippled in the action.” “Ay, master,” cried a jolly son of Neptune, “but let me tell you, that will depend on your having the weather-gauge of him.”
THE FAST-DAY.
A gentleman who employs a great number of hands in a manufactory in the West of England, in order to encourage his work people in a due attendance at church on a Fast-day, told them, that if they went to church they would receive their wages for that day, in the same manner as if they had been at work. Upon which a deputation was appointed to acquaint their employer, that “if he would pay them for over hours, they would attend likewise at the Methodist chapel in the evening!”
A FRIEND IN NEED.
A scholar declaiming in the college-hall, and having a bad memory, was at a stand, when, in a low voice, he desired one who stood close by him to help him out. “No,” says the other, “methinks you are out enough already.”
TILLOTSON.
It was well answered by Archbishop Tillotson, when King William III. complained of the shortness of his sermon, “Sire,” said the archbishop, “could I have bestowed more time upon it, it would not have been so long.”
NATIONALITY.
Frederick of Prussia, at a review of his tall grenadiers, asked Sir Robert Sutton, the British ambassador, if he could say an equal number of Englishmen could beat them. “No, sir,” answered Sir Robert, “I won’t pretend to say that; but I believe half the number would try!”