[QUEER WRINKLES.]

—The progress of the fall season is measured by the golden-rod.

—Said an absent-minded school-teacher:
"I hear a quiet noise in the right-hand corner of the room. I know very well who the guilty party is, but I will not mention his name. It is Tommy Jones."

—You can hail a street car, but you will be arrested if you stone one.

—Mr. Gummey: "Why do you call your dog 'Hen?' Is it an abbreviation of Henry?"
Mr. Glanders: "No; I call him 'Hen' because he is a setter."

—The counterfeiter is satisfied if he can spend money as fast as he can make it.

—Baby choked in his sleep, one day,

Only a harmless choke, 'twould seem.

But Marjorie settled it in her way—

I 'spect," she said, "he swallowed a dream."