—No fiddler ever gets tired of his own music.

—Benny: "Papa, I was playing with the sickle this morning, and I fell down and cut a finger."
Papa: "Did you cry?"
Benny: "Nope, but Willie did."
Papa: "What did Willie cry for?"
Benny: "It was Willie's finger I cut."

—One peculiarity of the skin on an animal is, that the fur side is the near side to you.

—Mr. Staggers: "What a gross man McJunkin is!"
Mr. Sumway: "Yes, but you ought to see his brother. He is a grocer."

—It is the easiest thing in the world to borrow trouble and return a visit.

—"Now," said the professor, "I want you to illustrate the difference between music and noise."
"Your own singing and somebody's else," replied the pupil, confidently.

—"This is a regular sugar loaf," said the candy-store clerk, when business was dull.


[The Fierce Old Cat and the Clockwork Rat.]


The boys wound it up and set it going around the room, and old Tom went for it.

A little rough handling loosened the spring which took pussy very much by surprise—

—and left the rat master of the situation.