A negro student when conducting the prayers at one of the great missionary colleges, said, “Give us all pure hearts, give us all clean hearts, give us all sweet hearts,” to which the entire congregation made response, “Amen.”
The giving-out of church notices has often proved a pitfall for the unwary. “During Lent,” said a rector lately, “several preachers will preach on Wednesday evenings, but I need not give their names, as they will be all found hanging up in the porch.”
They Come High—But
A stranger in New York asked a newsboy to direct him to a certain bank, promising him half a dollar for it. The boy took him about three doors away and there was the bank. Paying the fee, the man said, “That was half a dollar easily earned, son.”
“Sure,” said the boy, “but youse mustn’t fergit that bank directors is paid high in Noo Yawk.”
At Any Cost
A darky preacher was lost in the happy selection of his text, which he repeated in vigorous accents of pleading.
“Oh, bredern, at de las’ day dere’s gwine to be sheep and dere’s gwine to be goats. Who’s gwine to be de sheep, an’ who’s gwine to be de goats? Let’s all try to be like de li’l white lambs, bredern. Shall we be de goats, sisters? Naw, we’s gwine to be de sheep. Who’s gwine to be de sheep, bredern, an’ who’s gwine to be de goats? Tak’ care ob youh souls, sisters; tak’ care ob youh souls. Remember, dere’s gwine to be goats an’ sheep. Who’s gwine to be de sheep an’ who’s gwine to be de goats?”
Just then a solitary Irishman who had been sitting in the back of the church, listening attentively, rose and said:
“Oi’ll be the goat. Go on; tell us the joke, Elder. Oi’ll be the goat!”