Where Was Bill?
Bill Jones is a country storekeeper down in Louisiana, and last spring he went to New Orleans to purchase a stock of goods. The goods were shipped immediately and reached home before he did. When the boxes of goods were delivered at his store by the drayman his wife happened to look at the largest; she uttered a loud cry and called for a hammer. A neighbor, hearing the screams, rushed to her assistance and asked what was the matter. The wife, pale and faint, pointed to an inscription on the box which read as follows;
“Bill inside.”
All That Glisters is Not Gold
One day an Irishman was seated in the waiting-room of a station with an odorous pipe in his mouth. One of the attendants called his attention to the sign: “No smoking.”
“Well,” said Pat, “I’m not a-smokin’.”
“But you have a pipe in your mouth.”
“Shure, an’ I’ve shoes on me feet an’ I’m not walkin’.”
Her Affectionate Brothers
It was Commencement Day at a well-known girls’ seminary, and the father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation exercises. He was presented to the principal, who said, “I congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate family.”