—SAM WALTER FOSS.
Couldn’t Tell Which
Jones had come home later than usual and had ready a good explanation, but his wife gave him no chance, and immediately began to tell him what she thought of him. He endured it patiently all evening, quietly read his paper and went to bed. His wife was still talking.
When he was almost asleep he could hear her still scolding him unmercifully. He dropped off to sleep and awoke after a couple of hours, only to hear his wife remark:
“I hope all the women don’t have to put up with such conduct as this.”
“Annie,” said Jones, “are you talking again or yet?”
The Greater Calamity
Two or three urchins were running down a long and very steep flight of steps, when the foremost stumbled and fell headlong twenty to thirty feet, and was only stopped near the bottom by doubling backward around the newel-post. It looked as though his back was broken, and that he was a dead small boy, but he gathered himself up, thrust his hands anxiously in his trousers’ pockets, and ejaculated;
“B’ gosh, I b’l’eve I lost a cent.”