An old lady in Missouri took her first railroad trip last week, says “The Butter Democrat.” She noticed the bell-cord overhead, and, turning to a boy, she said: “Sonny, what’s that for?” “That, marm,” he said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “is to ring the bell when you want something to eat.”
Shortly afterward the old lady reached her umbrella up to the cord and gave it a vigorous pull. The train was in the middle of a trestle. The whistle sounded, the brakes were pulled on, the train began to slacken its speed, windows were thrown up, questions asked, and confusion reigned among the passengers. The old lady sat calmly through it all.
Presently the conductor came running through the train and asked: “Who pulled the bell?”
“I did,” replied the old lady meekly.
“Well, what do you want?” asked the conductor impatiently.
“Well,” said the old lady meditatively, “you may bring me a ham sandwich and a cup of tea, please.”
The Parson and the “Light”
A parson had had a call from a little country parish to a large and wealthy one in a big city. He asked time for prayer and consideration. He did not feel sure of his light. A month passed. Some one met his youngest son. “How is it, Josiah; is your father going to B———?”
“Well,” answered the youngster judicially, “paw is still prayin’ for light, but most of the things is packed.”