“Not at all, madam,” he replied; “it’s not kindness; it’s simply self-defense.”
Not What She Expected
A charming, well-preserved widow had been courted and won by a physician. She had children. The wedding-day was approaching, and it was time the children should know they were to have a new father. Calling one of them to her she said: “Georgie, I am going to do something before long that I would like to talk about with you.”
“What is it, Ma?” aiked the boy.
“I am intending to marry Doctor Jones in a few days, and—”
“Bully for you. Ma, Does Doctor Jones know it?”
Of Course
The morning class had been duly instructed and enlightened upon the subject of our national independence. Feeling sure she had made a real and lasting impression with her explanations and blackboard illustrations the young teacher began with the usual round of questions:
“Now, Sammy Smith, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
Sammy, with a shout of glee: “At de bottom, ma’am—that’s what you said!”