He Had Certainly Met Him
A traveler going to New Zealand was asked by a friend if he would inquire, while there, as to the whereabouts of the friend’s grandfather, Jeremiah Thompson.
“Certainly,” said the traveler, and wherever he went he asked for news of the ancestor, but without avail.
One day he was introduced to a fine old Maori of advanced age. “Did you ever meet with an Englishman named Jeremiah Thompson?” he asked.
A smile passed over the Maori’s face. “Meet him?” he repeated. “Why, I ate him!”
No Place Like Home
A Bostonian died, and when he arrived at St. Peter’s gate he was asked the usual questions:
“What is your name, and where are you from?”
The answer was, “Mr. So-and-So, from Boston.”
“You may come in,” said St. Peter, “but I know you won’t like it.”