“He can’t go, father. Sister’s sitting on him.”

Couldn’t Leave Town

A lawyer had a horse that always balked when he attempted to cross a certain bridge leading out of the village. No amount of whipping or urging would induce him to cross it, so he advertised him for sale: “To be sold for no other reason than that the owner would like to leave town.”

He Knew His Father

“Suppose,” said a father to his little boy, “you have half an apple and I give you another half. How much have you?”

“A whole apple,” said the boy.

“Well,” continued the father, “suppose you had a half dollar and I gave you another half dollar. What would you have then?”

“A fit,” promptly answered the boy.

A Valuable Office Boy

The employer was bending over a table, looking at the directory. The new office boy slipped up quietly and poked a note into his hand. The surprised employer opened it, and read: