“Honored Sir—Yer pants is ripped.”
She Had a Question to Ask
A certain prominent dry-goods merchant is also a Sunday-school superintendent. Not long since he devoted the last few moments of the weekly session to an impressive elucidation of the parable of the Prodigal Son, and afterward asked with due solemnity if any one of the “little gleaners” present desired to ask a question. Sissy Jones’s hand shot up.
“Very well,” he said, designating her with a benevolent finger and a bland smile, “what is it you would like to know, Cecilia?”
“Please, what’s the price of them little pink parasols in your show-window?”
The Only Time When He Does
A “Subscriber” once wrote to an editor and asked: “Please tell me, does a man in running around a tree go before or behind himself?”
The editor answered:
“That depends. If he is trying to catch himself, necessarily he follows himself, and consequently goes behind. If, on the contrary, he is running away from himself, the deduction leads to the very obvious conclusion that he precedes himself, and consequently goes before. If he succeeds in catching up with himself, and passes himself, at the moment of passing he neither precedes nor follows himself, but both he and himself are running even. This is the only case where he does not go before or behind himself.”