“Excuse me, madam, would you mind walking the other way and not passing the horse?” said an English cabman with exaggerated politeness to the fat lady who had just paid a minimum fare, with no fee.
“Why?” she inquired.
“Because if ’e sees wot ’e’s been carrying for a shilling ’e’ll ’ave a fit,” was the freezing answer.
Her Father Didn’t Like It
A young man told his girl the other night that if she didn’t marry him he’d get a rope and hang himself right in front of her house. “Oh, please, don’t do it, dear,” she said; “you know father doesn’t want you hanging around here.”
He Didn’t Mind His Going Once
An elderly gentleman, a stranger in New York and not sure of his way, stopped a young man on Fifth Avenue and said:
“Young man, I would like very much to go to Central Park.”
The young man became thoughtful for a moment, and then, looking the old gentleman in the face, said:
“Well, I don’t mind your going just this once, but don’t ever, ever ask me to go there again.”