A milliner endeavored to sell to a colored woman one of the last season’s hats at a very moderate price. It was a big white picture-hat.
“Law, no, honey!” exclaimed the woman. “I could nevah wear that. I’d look jes’ like a blueberry in a pan of milk.”
Rapid-Fire
A frivolous young English girl, with no love for the Stars and Stripes, once exclaimed at a celebration where the American flag was very much in evidence:
“Oh, what a silly-looking thing the American flag is! It suggests nothing but checker-berry candy.”
“Yes,” replied a bystander, “the kind of candy that has made everybody sick who ever tried to lick it.”
Kipling at a Luncheon
At a tea the other day, says “The New York Sun,” a woman heard the following remarks made about her favorite author. She turned to listen, amazed by the eccentricities of conduct narrated.
“Yes, you know,” the hostess was saying, “Kipling came in and behaved so strangely! At luncheon he suddenly sprang up and wouldn’t let the waitress come near the table. Every time that she tried to come near he would jump at her.
“He made a dive for the cake, which was on the lower shelf of the sideboard, and took it into the parlor to eat it. He got the crumbs all over the sofa and the beautiful rug.