“When he had finished his cake he simply sat and glared at us.”

The visitor finally could not control herself, and asked:

“Excuse me, but are you speaking of Mr. Rudyard Kipling?”

“Mr. Rudyard Kipling?” echoed the hostess. “Oh, no; Kipling is our dog!”

Getting His Trousseau Ready

The kindly ’Squire of the neighborhood was just leaving from a friendly social visit to Mrs. Maguire.

“And your son, Mrs. Maguire?” said the ’Squire as he reached for his hat. “I hope he is well. Busy, I suppose, getting ready for his wedding tonight?”

“Well, not very busy this minit, ’Squire,” answered the beaming mother. “He’s upstairs in bed while I’m washing out his trousseau.”

There Was a Chance

“Going to send your boy on an ocean trip, are you?” said a friend to a father.