A Coat That Wouldn’t Come Off
The inspector asked the boys of the school he was examining: “Can you take your warm overcoats off?” “Yes, sir,” was the response. “Can the bear take his warm overcoat off?” “No, sir.” “Why not?” There was silence for a while, and then a little boy spoke up: “Please, sir, because God alone knows where the buttons are.”
The Young Housewife’s Latest
In the cook’s absence the young mistress of the house undertook, with the help of a green waitress, to get the Sunday luncheon. The flurried maid, who had been struggling in the kitchen with a coffee machine that refused to work, confessed that she had forgotten to wash the lettuce.
“Well, never mind, Eliza. Go on with the coffee, and I’ll do it,” said the considerate mistress. “Where do you keep the soap?”
He Did His Best
A hungry Irishman went into a restaurant on Friday and said to the waiter:
“Have yez any whale?”
“No.”
“Have yez any shark?”