“Did you mail my letter, Mary?” asked her mistress. “It was an important one, you know.”
“Yis, mum, indeed I did.”
“But why have you brought back the two cents I gave you for the stamp?”
“Sure, I didn’t have to use it, mum,” replied Mary. “I slipped th’ letther into th’ box whin nobody was lukin’.”
He Couldn’t Very Well
A husband was being arraigned in court in a suit brought by his wife for cruelty.
“I understand, sir,” said the Judge, addressing the husband, “that one of the indignities you have showered upon your wife is that you have not spoken to her for three years. Is that so?”
“It is, your Honor,” quickly answered the husband.
“Well, sir,” thundered the judge, “why didn’t you speak to her, may I ask?”
“Simply,” replied the husband, “because I didn’t want to interrupt her.”