“Mighty steady nerves you must have. That beast was right on you! How do you explain it?”
“Easy enough,” says the mighty hunter. “I bathe three times a day, never touch meat, fruit, cereals, stimulants or tobacco, drink five gallons of water after every meal, and read nothing but THE LADIES’ HOME JOURNAL.”
Easing His Conscience
The Rev. Mr. Goodman (inspecting himself in mirror): “Caroline, I don’t really believe I ought to wear this wig. It looks like living a lie.”
“Bless your heart, Avery,” said his better half, “don’t let that trouble you. That wig will never fool anybody for one moment.”
He Would Lose, Anyway
Here is a young physician who has never been able to smoke a cigar. “Just one poisons me,” says the youthful doctor.
Recently the doctor was invited to a large dinner-party. When the women had left the table cigars were accepted by all the men except the physician. Seeing his friend refuse the cigar the host in astonishment exclaimed:
“What, not smoking? Why, my dear fellow, you lose half your dinner!”
“Yes, I know I do,” meekly replied the doctor, “but if I smoked one I should lose the whole of it!”