Force of Habit
A physician started a model insane asylum, says “The New York Sun,” and set apart one ward especially for crazy motorists and chauffeurs. Taking a friend through the building he pointed out with particular pride the automobile ward and called attention to its elegant furnishings and equipment.
“But,” said the friend, “the place is empty; I don’t see any patients.”
“Oh, they are all under the cots fixing the slats,” explained the physician.
What “R. S. V. P.” Means
A young man asked a country ’squire what the letters “R. S. V. P.” meant at the foot of an invitation. The ’squire, with a little chuckle, answered:
“They mean, ‘Rush in, Shake hands, Victual up, and Put.’”
The Wrong Kind of a Baby
In a certain home where the stork recently visited there is a six-year-old son of inquiring mind. When he was first taken in to see the new arrival he exclaimed:
“Oh, mamma, it hasn’t any teeth! And no hair!” Then, clasping his hands in despair, he cried: “Somebody has done us! It’s an old baby.”