He Had to Stand Up
An American doctor built an elegant home, says the “San Francisco Chronicle”; his bathroom was exceptionally beautiful, being of white marble with silver hardware; a music-box was concealed in the room. After completion of the home an Englishman came to visit the doctor. Now the English always show great respect for their sovereign and their country, and this one was no exception.
After showing his home to the Englishman the doctor remembered the fondness English people have for the bath, and escorted his guest to the bathroom, and while there turned on the music-box, wishing to give his guest a pleasant surprise as he bathed. Then he left his friend in the bathroom.
About an hour later the Englishman joined his host in the drawing-room. The doctor immediately asked what his guest thought of the bathroom. The Englishman replied: “It is beautiful, beautiful.”
“Well,” said the doctor, “how did you like my music-box?”
Said his guest with great disgust in his tones:
“Bah! That music-box! The old thing played ‘God Save the King,’ and I had to stand up the whole time I was trying to bathe.”
His Heartbreaking Task
“Darling,” said the bride, “I had a terrible feeling of sadness come over me this afternoon—a sort of feeling that you were doing something that would break my heart if I knew of it. Think, sweet, what were you doing, now, this afternoon at four o’clock?”
“Dearest,” replied the husband tenderly and reassuringly, “at that hour I was licking stamps and pasting them on envelopes.”