Easily Accounted For
An Irishman, upon arriving in America, was asked his name at Ellis Island. He gave it.
“Speak louder,” said the officer.
He repeated it.
“Louder,” again said the officer; “why, man, your voice is as soft as a woman’s!”
“Well,” said Pat, “that might be. Me mother was a woman.”
The Retort Courteous!
A merry party being gathered in a city flat made such a racket that the occupant of a neighboring apartment sent his servant down with a polite message asking if it would be possible for the party to make less noise, since, as the servant announced, “Mr. Smith says that he cannot read.”
“I am very sorry for Mr. Smith,” replied the host. “Please present my compliments to your master, say that I am sorry he cannot read, and tell him I could when I was four years old!”