A FILE TO SMOOTH ASPERITIES.
The Sheffield Times describes an extraordinary file, which is to be sent from Sheffield to the Great Exhibition. This remarkable file is adorned with designs as numerous as those on the original shield of Achilles, all cut and beaten out with hammer and chisel. How much more sensible and friendly to show distinguished foreigners files of this sort, than to exhibit to them files of soldiers!
THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MEANNESS.
A FARCE, FOUNDED ON FACT.
Mr. and Mrs. Skinflint are discovered in a Parlor in a Fashionable Square. The Wife is busy sewing. The Husband is occupied running his eye, well drilled in all matters of domestic economy, over the housekeeping account of the previous week.
Mr. Skinflint.—You've been very extravagant in my absence, my dear.
Mrs. Skinflint.—It's the same story every week, John.
Mr. Skinflint.—But, nonsense, Madam, I tell you, you have. For instance, you had a Crab for supper last night.
Mrs. Skinflint (startled).—How do you know that? It's not down in the book.
Mr. Skinflint (triumphantly).—No—but I found the shell in the dust-bin!!!!