"How far are you going?"
"I am going to Washington," answered Webster.
"Are you a merchant?" continued the inquirer.
"No, I am a Senator," replied Webster.
"Well, well!" exclaimed the other, holding out his hand. "I am relieved. We feared you might be a highwayman."
Two Irishmen were repairing a well over on Long Island, when suddenly one of them missed his footing and fell to the bottom. The other, greatly excited, leaned over the edge and exclaimed,
"Denny! oh, Denny! are ye dead?"
No answer came. Then he called again,
"Denny, if you're dead, speak!"