A little girl being asked by her grandfather where cotton grew, replied, with the greatest simplicity, "In old gentlemen's ears."
A man who lisped, having bought some pigs, asked a neighbor for the use of a pen for a few days. Said he: "I have jutht been purchathing thome thwine—two thowth and pigth. I want to put them in your pen till I can fix a plaith for them." "Two thousand pigs!" exclaimed the astonished neighbor; "why, my pen will hardly hold a dozen!" "You don't underthtand me, Mr. Bent. I don't thay two thouthand pigth, but two thowth and pigth!" "I hear you," said Mr. Bent; "two thousand pigs! Why, you must be crazy." "I tell you again," exclaimed the man, angrily, "I mean not two thouthand pigth, but two thowth and two pigth!" "Oh, that is what you mean, eh? Well, the pen is at your service."
LETTER PUZZLE.
First in long, but not in short;
Second in hop, but not in malt;
Third in Ellen, also in Anne;
Fourth in wagon, not in van;
Fifth in fun, but not in sport;
Sixth in teach, but not in taught;
Seventh in ale, but not in stout;
Eighth in bawl, but not in shout;
Ninth in mould, but not in sand;
Tenth in water, but not in land.
In these rhymes there may be found
A living poet much renowned.
What is it that always has some hitch about it?—A harness.
Which is the most contemptuous bird?—The owl; he hoots at everything.